Meet Sioux-z. The day I met her at KCRW, I was very nervous. I was a new employee and I was trying way too hard to wow people. Sioux-z wasn’t easy to wow. I could tell right off the bat she is not only highly intelligent, she also has a way of grabbing the moment by storm. I am fortunate to have her as a colleague, and even more important, we are now friends….
‘Even after trekking Egypt, Tibet, Peru, and Myanmar, teaching English in South Los Angeles, and writing features for major newspapers, Sioux-z says interpreting So Cal traffic is still the most challenging thing she has ever done. She has paid her dues reporting fender benders, car-b-que’s, and high-speed police pursuits from Seattle to San Diego. In her downtime, you can find this UCLA grad in the Lotus position chanting proverbs from her latest meeting with the Dalai Lama at Fred Segal’s. http://www.siouxzjessup.com
Sioux-z Jessup with pooch Piglet
How many times have you heard this explanation when a couple divorces, “it was the little things”? A pet peeve: a minor annoyance that an individual identifies as particularly annoying, while others are not too bothered by it. My pet peeve is NOT a minor annoyance. My pet peeve is a MAJOR annoyance. Dare I say, this particular peeve … it is a Global Issue.
My pet peeve — healthy people who park in handicapped zones.
A few years back, I was taking classes regularly at one of the high-profile westside yoga joints. One day, I noticed a guy from a well-respected, incredibly charitable family, parking his black Mercedes in the handicapped parking place and rushing up to yoga. As the days passed, the same car was always there. I finally asked the valet why this guy parked there. The attendant told me, “todos los días, cinco dólares”. The black Mercedes guy gave him five bucks every time he parked there. I can accept aggressive. I can forgive hostile. I can even tolerate an occasional schmuck … but wealthy, arrogant, entitlement is not only unacceptable, it is disgusting.
I confronted black Mercedes and he laughed it off saying, “It is an advanced yoga class. How many handicapped people do you think take that class?” I laughed back and said, “Park there again, I will make sure every newspaper gets a picture of you parking there along with bribing the valet.”
Working as a traffic reporter for over 15 years, I have learned drivers who cut you off, tailgate, flip you the bird (yes, I actually just wrote that) — these jerks on the road, are indeed jerks in life. These combative, offensive buffoons are the ones who go home and yell at their spouses and kick their dogs. Road rage is at an all time high. I cannot tell you how many times I have reported, “In the Mid-City area, on the Eastbound 10 at Arlington, two right lanes are blocked with a couple guys duking it out.” You can blame stress. You can blame the economy. You can blame being late for Kabbalah classes. But, you take these nincompoops off the road and put them in a restaurant, church, movie theater … they are all still the same dangerous numbskulls.
A friend of mine, a former professional motocross athlete now paralyzed from the waist down, parked in the handicapped zone at the Malibu Starbucks. A yuppie rushbucket parked in the handicapped space next to him, blocking him in his van. My friend was trapped and could not access his wheelchair. He slammed his door smack dab into the Porsche’s passenger side. The yuppie scrambled out with his double soy latte, screaming “What the f*#k are you doing?” He didn’t see my friend’s wheelchair. My friend merely replied, “Dude, you blocked me in.”
I have not one, but TWO people I work with, who somehow pilfered handicapped placards. They use them everyday, so they do not have to put money in the meters. THIS MAKES ME CRAZY. (Placard abuse is punishable by a minimum fine of $250 up to $3,500 or imprisonment up to six months or both). Where is the karmic universe dedicated to torture just these people?
So, a guy in a black Mercedes, a dude in a Porsche, and a couple knuckleheads too cheap to pay the parking meter, walk into a bar …
I raise my glass to toast.
“May the road rise to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May you and your loved ones always remain healthy. And may you never know how it really feels to have to park in that space.”