Falling in Love on the Freeway…or the intersection.

So Many things happen and can happen while driving, and not all of it is bad.

Meet my friend Mario Cotto, a major talent which includes being and DJ. A former middle school teacher and improviser, Mario moved to LA to pursue a career in sketch comedy. Moved by the music and luckily for us, his focus has shifted.

Mario Cotto

Mario Cotto

The empty warehouse at 588 Newhouse Drive

It is a known and proven fact that almost everyone will die. And by the time he/she dies, every Angeleno will have spent approximately 72%* of their lifetime sitting in traffic. Some people spend more time daily in their car than sleeping. Some people are even sleeping while driving. That is obviously NOT suggested. Given all these scientific facts, it is not out of the realm of possibility that one could potentially experience every single human emotion within one commute.

Personally, I have laughed, cried, raged, and feared for my life, sometimes all in one intersection just waiting to make a left turn. Most commutes…at least once a day in the morning and then once in the evening, I’ll fall in love. Not like, “Oh she’s cute,” or “Hey, whasyourname, Facebook me.” No. I’ll fall in love like, “I’d-ride-my-horse-through-thorny-brambles-to-slay-the-demon-dragon-at-the-base-of-my-Sleeping-Princess’-tower!” Like that New York dude said, “When I say love, you best believe I mean love, ‘L-U-V.’”

I have looked to my left at an intersection and felt the world stop completely as I’ve watched a lovely olive skinned brunette grimacing in her rear-view mirror as she plucks her eyebrow or wipes something off her cheek. I’ve stalled out at a red light looking in my mirror as a stunning ginger picks her perfectly Intelligently-Designed nose. Every single time, no matter how passionately I’m feeling it, I’ve always immediately had to look away because people start honking their horns and actually had to pay attention to the road and make sure I’m not killing everyone. But sadder still is that every time, by the time I’ve looked back, my most-perfect-soul-mate…the woman of my diesel dreams, has vanished down some side street to oblivion, or taken the exit to nowhere I’ll ever go. Thanks all you horn-honking jerks in traffic! Thanks you love-killers!

Still, even though I lose these beautiful babies in traffic again and again, EVERY SINGLE DAY, in my heart of hearts I know its love. And in my heart of hearts, I know that all these women are driving to the same location. They’re all congregating somewhere, primping, smoking, texting, and watching their caloric intake in some parking lot of some abandoned warehouse. They’re all just waiting for me to arrive so I can nervously ask each of them their names.

Editor’s Note: *estimate based purely on conjecture and without the use of data