I’m not gonna lie. Maybe it’s because my birthday is on Christmas, but I really don’t like “The Holidays.”
Outside of an annual monthlong bludgeoning of exponentially crass commercialism and maudlin nog-soaked nostalgia for the Norman Rockwell-esque good ol’ days (which weren’t especially good if we’re completely honest,) there’s an added social burden of “making the yuletide gay.”
If you don’t smile at strangers or want to go (or even worse yet, let’s say weren’t invited) to so and so’s most important holiday party, you are a “Grinch” or a “Scrooge” or some other thing that doesn’t “get” how “awesome” Christmas is.
Then, THEN, on top of all this…you are obligated to buy presents! For EVERYONE.
Lest people talk about you behind your back and call you cheap and hateful.
Annnnnd you’re supposed to “be good” or an imaginary immortal fat dude (who doesn’t exist because he’s really just your parents) will leave a lump of coal in a dried up stocking hung dangerously close to an open flame you’re supposed to have crackling in your living room, next to a dead tree which you’ve covered in highly flammable tinsel.
If you don’t see the cringe-worthy horror in all of this, you’re a stark raving lunatic. Or a Russian roulette playing pyromaniac.
However, howEVER… I suppose if you HAVE TO find a silver lining to all of this, it’s that it is all remarkably absurd.
Totally cukoo for Cocoa Puffs, bananas ridiculous. Because EVERYONE (even The President! Yeah.) is totally in on it. It’s a worldwide thing.
There are hideous plastic snowmen everywhere and mutli-colored snowflakes the size of cars hanging all over the place. Randomly.
Annnnd there are parties where it’s more than likely you’ll get completely knackered and make out with one of your co-workers. Talk about blurred lines and getting lucky. Amirite? AMIRITE?!
Ok. So, in the spirit of super weird holiday emotions, chuggy party vibes, getting drunkenly sullen and semi-classic Christmas cheer…I’ve made a Holiday Party Playlist!
Feel free to use it, alter it, add to it…and play it in the background while you staple mistletoe to every square inch of your ceiling.
Listen via Spotify and find the full tracklist below.
Mario Cotto’s Holiday Party Playlist 2014 — Tracklist
1. David Bowie/Bing Crosby – Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth
2. Blood Orange – Chamakay
3. Sampha – Without
4. Jamie Paton – Bizarre Feeling
5. Daniel Avery – All I Need
6. John Talabot – Matilda’s Dream
7. Axel Boman – Hello
8. Paul McCartney – Wonderful Christmastime
9. Wham! – Last Christmas
10. Grizzly Bear – Gun-Shy (Lindstrom Remix)
11. Todd Terje – Strandbar (Samba Version)
12. Darlene Love – Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)
13. The Ronettes – Be My Baby
14. Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes – The Love I Lost